What is NLP?

NLP is something you’ve probably heard of before, and is often intertwined with hypnotherapy. It can present itself as anything from a ‘dark art of influence and persuasion’ to a few handy techniques.

Here I’ll give a very surface-level overview to offer some idea of what it’s all about.

Origins of NLP

It’s useful to appreciate the history of NLP to understand it in context.

It began in the late 70s with Richard Bandler and John Grinder studying the subtle practices of three notable therapists. They modelled the exact linguistic patterns used, with the effect they had, and sought to understand exactly how they were getting the results they were getting with clients.

As well as the therapist’s own approaches, it has a lot to do with the client is doing – the words they use, the mental imagery they form, and utilising such things more effectively.

They created an efficient linguistic ‘model’ for people to emulate these techniques, as well as a collection of psychological tools, ideas and skills to allow for greater flexibility and choices when it came to outcomes.

It’s important to note though that none of the techniques were ‘new’ – they had all developed independently and organically from other people’s wisdoms. I was reading a book from 1937 recently that talked about how people visualise, and how those visualisations can be changed, which is very NLPish.

Although inspired by therapy, the results were of course marketed primarily to sales, where the ‘power to influence’ was far more lucrative. The hype, hope and delusion of trainees vastly overtook the actual results, creating a sort of cult-like approach to the science of influence, laden with that typical defensive denial and ego that comes with the territory.

This still goes on – Bandler himself has become a parody of the hype machine he created. I wrote a pretty scathing piece about one of his books here (spoiler alert – at one point he claims to have been able to get a hypnotised client to ‘draw’ the fingerprint of someone who assaulted her, from memory of his hands wrapping around her face, which the police were able to get a ‘partial’ from and enough to catch him. This is absolutely insane.)

But don’t let such things distract from what can be a useful approach – we’ll get to that shortly.

So what does NLP stand for?

Neuro: The brain, associations, emotions, connections.
Linguistic: The power of language, words, influence, semantics, symbols.
Programming: Designing new outcomes, creating new patterns.

NLP as an approach to therapy

A part of NLP is about what goes on in your head before you have a certain feeling, thought or respond with a certain behaviour. In this way it has some overlap with CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy).

It’s also a philosophy of attitudes (being curious, analytical, open minded, enthusiastic) as well as a collection of techniques.

One of the mantras for example is “the map is not the territory”, which is a useful reminder of how our subjective idea of reality is never the ‘truth’ of reality itself. It acknowledges how flexible our ‘maps’ are – prone to distortion, generalising, or deleting (neglecting information).

Truly understanding how a person imagines their reality to be is crucial for creating avenues of intervention (as well as expanding the person’s own self-awareness), which can be usefully approached with the ‘meta-model’.

This is a linguistic approach based on the socratic method, aimed at carefully teasing out the specifics of what someone really means, and thinks, when they describe things. What information is missing? What is being generalised? What else could be true? What is meant by a particular use of a metaphor?

Often just this line of questioning alone can be enough to uncover huge flaws of thinking or perceiving, which itself can ‘reframe’ the situation to change how they see it.

As a broad, superficial example:

“I’m always depressed”.

“Wow, OK. Are you depressed when brushing your teeth?”

“Well no, of course not”.

“Ok, so sometimes you experience depression, and sometimes you don’t”.

“Yes I suppose so”.

So already, the client has shifted their generalisation towards something more specific – which now opens up avenues to explore exactly when they feel different, and what the differences are in terms of what they imagine in different scenarios.

It can be an incredibly useful technique for drilling down to specifics.

Some Example Applications of NLP

Anchoring

Clients can be taught to manage emotional states using anchoring, or be subtlely influenced by the practitioner using them.

The idea is that when an emotion is felt, a physical sensation felt at the same time (e.g. a touch to the arm, pressing specific fingers together) can associate to the feeling, which can then be re-triggered later using the same sensation.

You could for example get really stuck into a mental imagining of a confident, happy time – then press a thumb and finger together, imagine a certain word and/or colour. Do this a few times to build up the anchor, and then use it before or during something anxiety-provoking (e.g. a presentation or interview).

Anchors can also be used with subtlety in conversations.

Sub-modalities

If you think about a memory, or anticipate a future situation, you will likely be doing this in a very specific way. An NLPer might assist you in drilling down to the specifics of how you’re imagining – are you seeing yourself in the picture or through your own eyes? Is it still or moving? One picture or a few? Colour or black and white? Sharp or blurry? Small or large? Etc.

Differences can be found for how you imagine different scenarios that carry different feelings. By messing with the ‘sub-modalities’, you can change the underlying unconscious responses to how you’re imagining.

You can interfere with audio too – change that imagined boss’s booming criticisms into a silly cartoon voice, and the response should feel different.

You may have heard Paul McKenna saying things like “now imagine yourself there now, and make that picture bigger, and brighter, more intense, more colourful, double it, double it again!” etc. Now you understand why.

Dis-association techniques

One of the earlier tools of NLP can be really useful for helping to detach from emotional responses to an event, and even be used as a one-stop phobia cure.

Say for example you experienced a traumatic event.

Rather than re-live the event, you might be asked to imagine yourself in the projection room of a cinema, watching yourself in the audience, watching the event on screen. How is that person feeling, while watching the event? What if they watch the film in black and white, and with a different soundtrack? What if the film is played backwards, or sped-up?

Eventually you should be able to become the person in the cinema, and then in the film itself, without the same usual emotional response.

Summary of NLP

Everyone is different. Some people think more in pictures, some with feelings and some with sound based thoughts. The combinations of these inner awarenesses, thoughts and experiences lead to very specific outcomes. By exploring and changing these unique patterns, you can create new outcomes – ones which are more useful, positive and beneficial to your goals.

Whatever your unique situation is, NLP may be able to offer tools, enable inner resources and build awarenesses that can allow you to create more flexibility and choice.

Would you prefer to have the choice to remain calm instead of panicking?

Would you prefer to be motivated rather than procrastinating?

Would you prefer to do something else instead of a useless habit?

By creating new patterns and subconscious processes, you can create new outcomes. You can also learn more about how your own mind and brain works, giving you a greater sense of control and self-awareness.

However, the claims of NLP for long-standing change can be inflated. It can be very useful for superficial situations (mild anxiety for public speaking, for example, or a spider phobia), but complex issues such as deep-rooted self-image issues or negative self-beliefs may have difficulty in being solved with the often over-simplistic approach of an NLP practitioner.

NLP is often merged with hypnosis and hypnotherapy because both deal with subconscious processes, and are therefore highly efficient. When used together, the combination can be efficient to getting the positive results that you are looking for.

For me personally, the main thrust of good therapeutic work is based on enhanced self-awareness and emotional dynamics. The deeper insight and wisdoms of the people studied was stripped away in the development of NLP, which is why it can attract a far different calibre of practitioner.

It’s a very useful thing to be aware of, and even train in for much more effective communication skills, but it has become a very over-hyped and diluted industry.

Next – delve into the often misunderstood, but highly pervasive effects of Trauma.